Have you ever said "I know what to do but I'm just not doing it?"   If so, it speaks volumes about where you are in the process of self change.  When you make a statement like that here's what you're really saying to yourself.  "Although I'm frustrated by the way I look and feel, what I have to do to change it is more painful. Do you really expect me to cook, carry, shop for food and exercise?  I just don't have the time for that!"  Everyone has experienced frustration in some area of their life.  Whether you want to gain control over your financial condition, eating choices or smoking, it can be frustrating to say you want to change while at the same time continue the behavior.  So why do you do the right thing some of the time and the wrong thing at other times?  The answer is simple.  You do what you do because you get some kind of a payoff.  In other words you never engage in any behavior if you don't get a payoff.  And that basically tells us that in one way or another it works for you. 

All of us are motivated to seek pleasure and avoid pain (think psychology 101).  If you are saying one thing but doing the opposite then your subconscious finds pleasure in the behavior even though your conscious mind experiences some pain.  And this is true of being overweight. Here's an interesting question, "what does anyone get from being overweight?" On the surface you probably think there is nothing to be gained by being overweight.  But consider this; if all behaviors are based on a system of payoffs then it's obvious that being heavy is working in some way.

        Payoffs can be good or bad. The only thing that matters is how each person perceives their payoff.  For example, what possible payoff would anyone get from doing heroin?  Everyone knows they can get addicted, go to prison, get AID's, damage their health or die.  The only possible payoff the user is focused on is the high.  The temporary sense of euphoria and escaping pain is the only possible payoff.  If you remove the perceived payoff (in this case the euphoria) no one in their right mind would ever do heroin.  Do you think anyone would try heroin a second time if the first time they used it they felt like their blood was boiling battery acid and they went blind for three days?  If you said "sure" then you need to my party with my cousin Vinnie.  This explains why you may be unwilling to do something one moment and find yourself doing it a moment later?  The pleasure of eating food can exceed the pain of giving it up until the bodyweight gets so high the pain of being so overweight outweighs the pleasure of overeating.   In any situation where a choice must be made the payoff is always lurking in the subconscious mind.  We will always seek to choose whatever brings the least pain and has the greatest chance of pleasure.  What is interesting to note however, is that sometimes we are confused between what will give us pleasure and what will give us pain.  Sometimes what you think will bring you pleasure may actually make you miserable.  On the other hand, what you think causes pain may actually give you pleasure.  Here's a classic example.  Let's suppose you decide that tomorrow morning you'll wake up early and go to the gym.  But when you wake up the bed is warm and cozy and it's cold and rainy outside.  In the time span of nanoseconds you decide it'd feel better to stay in bed so you end up not going to the gym.  After saying you would go to the gym but not following through you're left with guilt, remorse and frustration because you wish you had gone after all.  In that case what you thought would make you happy, staying in bed, actual made you feel miserable.  Just the opposite is also true. If everything in the last example was the same, bed was warm and cozy and it was cold and rainy outside and you didn't want to go but you got out of bed and went anyway, how would you feel as you walk out of the gym?  Empowered, happy, glad you went?  Again, what you thought would make you miserable actually made you empowered and happy.

Query your brain's version of Google and dig deep by asking yourself what payoffs you get from eating bad and not exercising?  I have a client that realized that he had been carrying 100 pounds of extra body fat because as a child he was always the smallest in his class and was routinely beaten up by classmates.  He made a decision years ago to "get bigger" so no one would mess with him anymore.  He hasn't been picked on in 25 years yet he's still overweight because he never realized what his payoff actually was.  Unfortunately his sub-conscious mind made a connection between size and safety.  So as an adult every time he attempts to lose weight he starts sabotaging himself and gains it all back.  He had never realized that the payoff he used as a child wasn't working for him as an adult.  Change comes from understanding your payoffs and reprogramming your overweight brain to associate pleasure with the new changes you are making. 

 So let's examine the potential payoffs for changing by making a list of the payoffs you get from eating right and exercising.  These are what we call effective thoughts because they have a positive "effect" on you and bring you everything you want.  As you read through the following list start thinking about the payoffs you would add to the list.

I will look better

I will have more energy

I will have more confidence and higher self-esteem

I will have a sense of accomplishment and will get recognized for it by others.

I will fit into smaller clothes

I will live longer

I will have a higher quality of life

I will be able to play with my kid's kids

I will feel better

I will get more dates

Note:   Vividly imagine each reason on this list.  Paint a clear mental picture in your mind's eye of each one because each of these items will produce a positive effect and a positive emotional state.  These are the payoffs you truly desire.

Next, make a list of the payoffs you get for not changing. These are the thoughts that actually stop you from changing.  But on the surface they sound like payoffs that will bring you pleasure when in reality they all bring you pain.  We would label these as defective thoughts because whenever you use these thoughts the "defect you" and take you away from everything you listed on the effective payoffs list.

I will have more free time

I will feel more social

Bad food tastes good

It's just easier to go with the flow and not have to put any thought into changing

I could sleep later if I didn't have to go to the gym

In the short term you may actually enjoy those so-called payoffs but in the long run you are guaranteed to lose any chance of getting any of the payoffs in the first list if you do not choose to change.  Now let's examine the payoffs for not changing and ask if what you say is true?

Will you be more social or less social if you gain weight?  In reality when you over-eat you get fatter and then tend to isolate more.  How many people decide not to go to class reunions or pool parties because of how they look?  So eating bad food which causes a weight gain actually makes people less social, not more social like you thought! From now on, order tasty healthy meals and focus on enjoying the company of your friends instead of focusing on the chips and queso and margaritas.

Can't foods that are good for you taste great too?  Who told you that you have to eat boring, bland and dry foods to get great results?   If you make the recipes we teach you then I can assure you that you will be amazed by how tasty clean eating can be.  And amazingly, over time you will discover that some foods that you used to love will actually become unappealing to you.  In addition, remember the old saying, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!"

"I can sleep late if I do not work and I feel better when I get more sleep."  Is it possible that you would actually feel better by working out first thing in the morning and going to bed an hour earlier at night?  If you exercise first thing in the morning then it is done and over with and not hanging over your head all day.  You will leave the gym feeling empowered and energized knowing that you took care of yourself and that you will get leaner because of it.  If you sleep in when you planned on working out, you can trust that you will feel like you let yourself down again and that you will continue to pack on the pounds.  That doesn't sound like a good payoff.

        Is it really easier to not eat right or is it harder?  In other words, when you weigh 50 pounds more than you should, does that feel easier?  When you have a heart attack and have to spend all your time regaining your health is that easier or harder?   The truth is your life will be a lot easier if you take care of your body.  You won't have to spend so many hours everyday worrying about how you look or what others are thinking about you.

At this point, you should be convinced without question that changing the behavior is a MUST.  If not, add more things to your payoffs for change list.  Review your list daily and focus on the positive payoffs in your first list because they are effective and you will be guaranteed to experience pleasure long term.  Stop believing the BIG FAT LIES you are telling yourself when you focus on the false, defective payoffs in the second list.  They only work in the short term but eventually are guaranteed to lead to more pain.  If you ever "fall off the wagon", there is one and only one reason for it.  You started focusing again on the second list of reasons not to change. The fastest way to get back on track is to go back and review your lists again and argue against the ones that really do not work for you long term.  Now imagine you have an old-fashioned balance scale, where on one side you place your payoffs for change and on the other side you place your payoffs not to change.  In order to change your behavior, you need to tip the scale in favor of the payoffs for change.  The key to being able to tip the scales in your favor though requires that you make the associations strong enough in your mind so you are convinced, without question that the behavior must change and then it will.